- Jeremiah 23:29
The Maccabee stands for Hammer in Hebrew
Part III. The Maccabees Supernatural Rebellion Against Mt. Olympus
Telepathy, Sexuality, and the War of the Maccabees
Sometimes, living men and women have been forced to use somewhat nontraditional, heterodox means in order to establish telepathic communication. Though the Church remains extremely unlikely to ever officially admit to their existence, there are, in fact, certain methods that can assist God-fearing individuals in obtaining telepathic and perhaps other supernatural abilities (See St. Judas and the Temple of the Black Diamond). Indeed, legends indicate that these somewhat unorthodox practices were of vital importance in helping Judas Maccabeus and his brothers win the civil war against the Greek occupiers of ancient Israel and their sexually degenerate, and many times uncircumcised, Jewish allies.
Apparently, Judas Maccabeus, the rebel leader, began receiving reports early on indicating that an elite cabal of homosexual Jews and Greeks were using long-distance telepathy as a part of their military operations, including coded written messages in both Greek and Hebrew. Truth be told, it is unclear whether or not the Maccabees and their religious allies were even familiar with telepathic communication. They probably had some experience with it through personal interaction with the wild, desert prophets and other religious authorities, but it is quite obvious that they had little to no idea about how to harness it effectively in order to win the war.
Historically speaking, there is some evidence that telepathy played a role in the successful slave rebellion led by Moses and Aaron against the Egyptians. Indeed, Aaron and his sister Miriam were probably both highly telepathic along with many of the other early Levites. Several scholars will also claim that forty years of wandering in the desert, where most of the Israelites fed themselves with the mysterious manna (Red Dragon fat) provided by God for years on end, eventually caused many, if not all, of the families involved to become very telepathic. Nevertheless, it is more than possible that the power of telepathy had become almost completely forgotten by most of the Israelites during the Age of the Maccabees more than a thousand years later.
Regardless of the specifics, Judas Maccabeus quickly discovered through spies that frenzied homosexual orgies, including high-powered anal and oral sex, along with the frequent, mutual swallowing of semen, may have been involved in the Greeks seemingly Divine telepathic powers. Apparently, these hyper-sexualized rituals, which took place both outdoors in public, as well in total darkness in underground chambers, were causing the participants to become demonically-possessed, telepathic beings, who were able to see through each other’s eyes. They were also using remote viewing to track rebel troop movements and hunt down those Jews still practicing Orthodox Judaism.
Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on Hell.
– Proverbs 5:3-5
In addition, it is quite possible that these evil, wicked enemies of God were eating each other’s feces and urine and staring directly at the sun for long periods of time in order to manifest these powers. Put bluntly, at least some of them were looking into the sun while committing sodomy. It was truly a time of the Beast 666 and his motives could be clearly seen by the sexual immorality that had completely taken over the Temple of Jerusalem. This intensified the evil in an intolerable and utterly disgusting way.
The Gentiles filled the Temple with debauchery and revelry; they amused themselves with [male] prostitutes and had intercourse with women even in the sacred court.
- II Maccabees 6:3-4
One could say that either one, or perhaps all, of these particular activities were the real cause of the homosexual Jews and Greeks developing telepathic and other supernatural powers. Because of his desperate circumstances, however, Judas Maccabeus did not have the time to verify exactly what was behind his opponent’s paranormal abilities. Because of this, he immediately ordered at least some of his followers to eat and drink their own, as well as their fellow warrior’s feces and urine. After some trial and error, those involved were told to eat only the hard, rock-like feces that contained numerous, round, small balls like the various, tiny shit-heads of little people. To develop a strong, defensible telepathic communication system, some of them stopped eating anything at all, except for whatever they could find in the wilderness, where they remained in hiding during the early part of the war. The rebels also smoked large amounts of marijuana and/or hashish to soothe their hunger pangs. The Bible states as follows:
Judas Maccabeus with nine others…withdrew himself into the wilderness, and lived in the mountains after the manner of beasts, with his company, who fed on herbs continually, lest they should be partakers of the pollution.
- II Maccabees 5:27
It is also possible that, in desperation, Judas Maccabeus allowed his married soldiers to practice oral sex with their wives, who would then swallow their husband’s semen in order to establish a strong, telepathic connection. Sometimes the link became powerful enough for the wives to see through their husbands’ eyes and hear their thoughts. It is said that more than a few of these couples became telepathic quite quickly and began having the exact same dreams. Throughout the war, married wives helped to relay strategically important messages sent by their scout husbands over long-distances. Fortunately for the Maccabees, this private, two-way method of telepathy between husband and wife eventually became impossible for the sexually perverted enemy to intercept or cause interference. The most probable explanation for this is that the Divinely-sanctioned, monogamous, heterosexual love between the two spouses may have helped to shield their messages from the almost completely homosexual Jewish and Greek telepaths trying to decipher them.
Matches are made in heaven.
- The Babylonian Talmud, Genesis Rabba 68
In three different places…are we told that heaven appoints the wife of a man.
- The Babylonian Talmud, Genesis Rabba 68
This new-found technique of undetectable, heterosexual telepathy completely enraged the sexually degenerate occupiers of the Kingdom of Israel, causing them to resort to human sacrifice and cannibalism in the Temple of Jerusalem in an attempt to increase their diabolical, supernatural powers. They also proceeded to take out their frustrations upon many of the unarmed, innocent civilians, perpetrating numerous, hideous atrocities against any and all suspected Jewish sympathizers, yet completely leaving any Greek or other foreign residents alone.
[Jason] commanded his men of war not to spare [anyone]…and to slay…[all of them]. Thus there was killing of young and old, making away of men, women, and children, slaying of virgins and infants.
- II Maccabees 5:12-13
In retrospect, the possible practice of the Maccabees in allowing or encouraging oral sex between a married man and woman, which is prohibited by Jewish law and still defined in the Dictionary as sodomy, was a sinful, ungodly way to defeat the enemies of Israel that should have never been used. Contrary to the wicked, Satanically-inspired, deceivers of the truth who might insist otherwise, Judas Maccabeus never authorized any other abnormal sexual activity in order to develop supernatural powers and severely punished any of his fellow allies who were caught practicing anything except monogamous, heterosexual vaginal intercourse within the sacred bonds of marriage. Even consensual, heterosexual fornication between two unmarried people was punished by the traditional twenty-five, extremely painful lashings with a whip, inflicted on both the male and female offenders.
Daniel, my brother, you are older than me. Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won’t heal? Your eyes have died, but you see more than I. Daniel you’re a star in the face of the sky.
- Daniel, by Elton John
Throughout the military campaign and afterwards, Judas demanded total abstinence from all his followers, even though their Greek enemies promoted, encouraged, and even celebrated degenerate sexual activity in order to achieve telepathic abilities and to summon evil powers to help them defeat the Jews. In the end, the Maccabees basically concluded that the fairly disgusting, highly unsanitary, and possibly lethal, ingestion of feces and urine was, in fact, the primary ingredient that actually helped facilitate telepathy among his soldiers. Staring directly at the sun was another probable method Judas Maccabeus utilized in order to create a strategic system of telepathy that included encoded written messages, commonly known as the Word of God.
Got a revolution behind my eyes, we got to get up and organize. Got a revolution behind my eyes, we got to get up and organize…You want a revolution behind your eyes, we got to get up and organize.
- Battleflag, by Lo Fidelity Allstars
The legends state that, although the five brothers of the Maccabees never lost their own eyesight, some of the less fortunate troops did go completely blind in their search for supernatural powers. In fact, it is claimed that the mysterious seven watchtowers of Joarib, originally set up as a defensive measure to protect the God-fearing, loyal Israelites that opposed the sexually perverted Jews and Greeks ruling over them, was little more than a 24-hour system of elite soldiers who would stand up and look directly at the sun in shifts all day long. This was also done in order to guard the headquarters of the telepathic, military intelligence corps who played a key role in winning the war of the Maccabees. Urgent written messages from the front would sometimes arrive via the sun and would then be passed on to the appropriate rebel leaders.
Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream. I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been, to sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen. They talk of days for which they sit and wait, [when] all will be revealed. Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace…but not a word I heard could I relay, the story was quite clear.
- Kashmir, by Led Zeppelin
May the LORD God bless you in the name of St. Judas Maccabaeus.